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THE CRAZY CRITTERS
A Readers Theater Script Featuring
Repetition, Rhythm, and Rhyme
by Lois Walker
Graphic: From Longman's (Australia) Award-Winning VoiceWorks Series, 2001
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NARRATOR: Late last Monday
It happened, you see,
READER 1: A funny old man
READER 2: Shuffled up to me.
READER 3: He pointed his finger
READER 4: And scratched his head.
READER 5: Then this is what the old man said,
ALL: "EX-CUE-OOOOZ ME!
NARRATOR: Is that your mama
With the thick woolly hair,
Looks like a camel
But her back is bare?
She's lost her hump!
And I'll tell you, too,
That crazy critter looks a lot
ALL: LIKE YOU!"
NARRATOR: As you can well imagine,
I was
READER 5: Surprised!
NARRATOR: I began to feel
Thick woolly hair
Sprouting on my body
Everywhere.
"No, no!" I cried.
"That's not my mama.
That crazy critter is just a
ALL: LLAMA."
NARRATOR: Late last Tuesday
It happened, you see,
READER 1: A funny old man
READER 2: Shuffled up to me.
READER 3: He pointed his finger
READER 4: And scratched his head.
READER 5: Then this is what the old man said,
ALL: "EX-CUE-OOOOZ ME!
NARRATOR: Is that your papa
With the black hairy knees
And short bowed legs,
Swinging through the trees?
He's up to monkey business.
And I'll tell you, too,
That crazy critter looks a lot
ALL: LIKE YOU!"
NARRATOR: As you can well imagine,
I was
READER 4: Amazed!
NARRATOR: I looked right down
For I wanted to know,
And my short little legs
Were beginning to bow.
"No, no!" I cried
"It's plain to see.
That crazy critter is a
ALL: CHIMPANZEE."
NARRATOR: Late last Wednesday
It happened, you see,
READER 1: A funny old man
READER 2: Shuffled up to me.
READER 3: He pointed his finger
READER 4: And scratched his head.
READER 5: Then this is what the old man said,
ALL: "EX-CUE-OOOOZ ME!
NARRATOR: Is that your brother
With his nose held high,
Spotted feet on the ground,
Head in the sky?
He's got a long neck!
And I'll tell you, too,
That crazy critter looks a lot
ALL: LIKE YOU!"
NARRATOR: As you can well imagine,
I was
READER 2: Dumbfounded.
NARRATOR: I felt my neck
And what do you know?
The whole darn thing
Was beginning to grow!
"No, no!" I cried.
And I tried to laugh.
"That crazy critter is a tall
ALL: GIRAFFE."
NARRATOR: Late last Thursday
It happened, you see,
READER 1: A funny old man
READER 2: Shuffled up to me.
READER 3: He pointed his finger
READER 4: And scratched his head.
READER 5: Then this is what the old man said,
ALL: "EX-CUE-OOOOZ ME!
NARRATOR: Is that your sister
With the built-in pouch,
Hopping on her hind legs
Acting like a grouch?
She's got a little joey.
And I'll tell you, too,
That crazy critter looks a lot
ALL: LIKE YOU!"
NARRATOR: As you can well imagine,
I was
READER 3: Bewildered.
NARRATOR: I didn't have a sister
Who acted like a grouch.
But for some strange reason,
I did have a pouch.
"No, no!" I cried
"I know what's true.
That crazy critter is a
ALL: KANGAROO."
NARRATOR: Late last Friday
It happened, you see,
READER 1: A funny old man
READER 2: Shuffled up to me.
READER 3: He pointed his finger
READER 4: And scratched his head.
READER 5: Then this is what the old man said,
ALL: EX-CUE-OOOOZ ME!
NARRATOR: Is that your uncle
With the powerful jaws,
Giant lizard body,
And sharp clutching claws?
He's a grand old fossil.
And I'll tell you, too,
That crazy critter looks a lot
ALL: LIKE YOU!"
NARRATOR: As you can well imagine,
I was
READER 1: Astonished.
NARRATOR: My lizard lips
Began to pout.
My lizard tongue
Flashed in and out.
NARRATOR: "No, no!" I cried.
"Please say no more.
That crazy critter is a
ALL: DINOSAUR."
NARRATOR: Late this morning
I woke in bed,
Thoughts of critters
In my head.
Ran to the mirror
And what did I see?
READER 1: No hair from a llama.
READER 2: No legs from a chimpanzee.
READER 3: No neck from a giraffe.
READER 4: No pouch from a kangaroo.
READER 5: No lips from a dinosaur.
NARRATOR: I just saw me!
And I made myself a promise
Which I plan to keep:
ALL: NO MORE EATING PIZZA
BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP!
THE END
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